DTRing with Someone Who's Already DTRed With You
-Life is so confusing...- BOYS ARE SO CONFUSING! I haven't blogged in awhile because I have been racking my brain about me and Jake. And after many days of contemplating what we are, I still can't put my finger on it. And no matter how many times I try to DTR with him, it never ends up with the answer I want. We talked last night about us and yet he still gave me one of his "Answer to Not Answer" replies...
Well, actually Now that I've come to think of it, he actually has DTRed with me. Maybe I'm just the one bugging him about it because he never gives me the answer I want? I mean he has told me that we probably won't ever date, that we're only FWB, and he has never flat out even told me that he liked me face-to-face. It's always been a "Yeah, you're really cool." And to top it off, he's never even held my hand in public like a normal "talking" couple would do. What if I'm the one hoping for something that will never come? What if I'm the one trying to make this something that it's not? Maybe he's not the one playing games with me, maybe I'm just the one playing games with myself..?
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Comments
theitgirlslife
Oh, by the way, DTR means Define the Relationship!
February 24, 2013WalkinOnSunshine
In my opinion….all I see is him wanting to just be FWB….and thats it. Nothing more than that. Your feelings are reaaaaaaaaaally waaaay too much for this guy, that only considers you as being “cool”. He definitely does not want a relationship and I don’t think he is going to develop feelings for you. For him its exactly what it says “friends with benefits”, and that’s it. If I were you…..I’d try to reign my feelings in or stop being a FWB, because you are getting your heart broken right now. I could never be in that type of relationship because I’m too emotional. I’d be miserable everyday. You better stop and think if this is what you really want. You deserve so much better.
February 24, 2013theitgirlslife
Your comment is very true… Ugh! I hate this. It’s easy enough to say that you’ll get over someone one, but it’s not easy to do it. My mind can’t stop thinking about him and my heart is just tangled around him, so at the moment I can’t listen to either. And it’s also hard to get over someone who you rubbed and tugged on or the first time…
February 25, 2013.WalkinOnSunshine
Yes I can certainly understand that. Be strong!!
February 25, 2013theitgirlslife
I will try to be! Thank you!
February 26, 2013tabbyjo2011
Like WalkinOnSunshine, I couldn’t agree more. The longer you talk to this boy, the deeper you will want things to work out with him. The deeper you go, the worse things will be.. and deep down for him, he probably only sees you as a number or a friend with benefits. Don’t sell yourself short with this guy, be strong, and even though it’s hard to get over someone as your “first rub and tug”, he won’t be your last. If you need someone to talk to, I am here for you.
February 26, 2013theitgirlslife
Thank you! Yes, I just want to find out his true feelings first. I want a different answer other than “Yeah, you’re cool” too. I want it to be real. And if it’s not, cool, ya’ know? I’ve been playing games with him lately though, which JUST might be working. I hope he notices and I hope he tries to win me over even more. Only time will tell, and only time can. (:
February 26, 2013tabbyjo2011
No problem, I know I dealt with some similar issues like that and I never had anyone that I could talk to about it. You can only try to win him over, but sometimes it’s a lost cause… while other times it could take a while for him to realize what an amazing person you are. For me, flirting with a guy on my bus for almost 4 years before there was a rub and tug. then an entire year before he took me out on a date. A similar incident happened with the guy who I am currently dating.. in the beginning(almost a year ago) we started talking and talking about going on a few dates and seeing where that led us, well he just stopped talking to me on day, blocked me, wouldn’t return my texts or messages.. I went up until July of not talking to him, but then we started talking again, met up for the first time, continued talking then in September we had a fight and i didn’t talk to him until November, ever since then we haven’t had any problems except for he was dating some chick who treated him horribly. Just give it time, but until he makes his feelings known, try to focus on what makes you happy and a new guy will come along eventually.
February 26, 2013theitgirlslife
Yeah! I just want to dig up his true feelings about me. I mean, I think he posts things about me all the time but I’m not for SURE that he does… I just want him to give me a straight up answer. I just want to know if I’m the only girl he has his eye on right now, like the way he’s the only guy I have my eye on right now!
February 26, 2013tabbyjo2011
Boys can be complicated. I would say if he wants to be seen with you in public then he is probably serious about you, but if it’s just you sneak around and don’t go anywhere publicly together then I would say he is either just trying to get in your pants or he is just playing with your heart strings.
February 26, 2013theitgirlslife
I think I’ll try and go somewhere this weekend with him and see what he says. I mean I really do want to go somewhere publicly and see what he’ll be like around his friends, etc! Hiding around constantly everyday isn’t cutting it for me…
February 27, 2013tabbyjo2011
His actions around you will definitely tell you more than his actual words will.
February 27, 2013unknownunderdog
I’m going through the same thing! guys suck. period. but I’ve learned from Steve Harvey that a man wants to be stable and provide before any relationship. (I recommend reading Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man) I don’t know if your relationship is just so amazing when you guys are together that you can’t let it go, this is how mine is, so if its like that then I get you completely. I hate to say this but everything is a game, if you want him to change and take you seriously in the matter, you have to play back. Best way to do this is putting him on the back burner. Act like you’re too busy and that you have other interests in your life. This will either 1. Make him reconsider and fight for you or 2. Play back harder and mess with your feelings. If it’s 2 then he’s not worth it at all and his the biggest douche in the world.
February 26, 2013I hate seeing girls going through this stuff especially since I’ve been through it all and I understand the emotional, physical, and mental pain. I hope it works out for you and I hate to say this, but there will be others. In time all this heal and they just become a small scare on your heart. I hope this work in your favor good luck!
theitgirlslife
Thank you! And yes, that has been the exact thing I’ve been doing to him. I’m honestly no ure if it’s working or what, but hopefully it is… I really like him and really hope he likes me back. I mean I would just die if he didn’t. The whole, “You’re cool” thing isn’t working on me anymore. I want to start getting some dating things started up. (;
February 26, 2013unknownunderdog
Hahaha yeah I get you! Just work it like you’re too good for him and you’ll rock!
February 26, 2013theitgirlslife
Thanks! I’ll try!
February 26, 2013